REBECCA, a girl who do anything she want.
she love her boyfriend <3
Saturday, February 6, 2010
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when argues meet, we will apologise for our own mistake. but how you going to apologise someone you hurt without knowing it? by actions or words.will you just say ' sorry ' just a word so sorry. to me is never enough to calm my heart down with just one word most of things.
i rather put it ' sorry, i really don't mean to hurt you. ' just a few more words or sentences explaining yourself. its so much better. at least i will know you don't mean it right?
why not explaining yourself a bit more than saying a word? its not going to cut your flesh into pieces what.
how about, when someone is feeling down? feeling upset over some stuffs? as a friend or lover, what will you do? just see knowing you are upset, but just ignoring you. what will you feel?
it happened to me. yes me. even someone closes to me ignore me. not even asking some basic manner, ' ehh why you today like that? not feeling well or something? ' is it that difficult? to me is basic knowledge instead of basic manner i should say on how to react.
these few days, many small bits things adding up to each other. making me feel so horrible inside. not voicing out, is not because i don't want. is i don't really want to disturb people over my own matter. how bad? even one is busy, yes damn busy.
those i know some stuffs they said, is meant to be good to me. be it a family or relationship matter. but they don't know how i felt inside me. is like, one word ' FUCK' .
did they think of how i feel ? what the point for me to voice out each time, when i just voice and they just listen or ignoring me or even pretend to listen when they are not.
how suck.
to you, yes you. everything of your comes first even friends? i suppose. my judgment maybe wrong. but at least i know what i feel. but tell you... is like telling a wall. the wall knows but can't react? can't do anything?
friend told me, guy like polite girl. who don't like? even girl like polite guy. who want the guy to be so damn violent, rude, fierce, or whatever.
i need time.. to think
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
CONGRATS,BOYFRIEND.
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HELLO just woke up not long. so many calls =.= damn irritating.
never blog much, see i told ya right. I'm not going to blog like 'everyday'
since there like ZERO reader. okay, beside myself :)
okay, CONGRATS TO MY BOYFRIEND, he get in 2010 JAE ITE first choice.
i know nothing big deal. but still.... you know...
if got study, better study hard and don't skip classes.
as i said, different molecules got different attendance. the most each you can skip 1 or 2.
i also skipped class one okay.
really, my house everyday got war. damn fuck up.
a while money, a while my room cupboard, a while never this never that.
never ending.
sometime in life some stuffs i want to do is beyond my limit. i look into future not current.
current also got, but mostly future..
its not i don't want to do it, is i can't in my current situations. I'm already about 80% independent from my parent, in money wise. i want to buy anything you can think of is all from my pocket.
don't say study la, i think now they also can't support me in studies already. i need to fork out myself. yes, my study. just think how much poly cost a year, i feel like fainting right on the spot.
to some, is like small case only few thousands. -.- just fuck off okay. idiot!
wanna be Cinderella :D
Monday, January 18, 2010
First To Be Down..
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HELLO. stopped blogging very often compare to past year.last two days, fall sick. firstly headache came. thought normal headache. so i don't care. just do my things sleeping at wee hours [morning 4am?].
then best things came, i woke up with fever, flu and cough.
damn power! i was planning to go down NYP today or even swimming over the weekend.
): i'm not a happy girl.
okay, i'm still sick.
tonight, boyfriend got dinner && dance. hope he have a wonderful day. ohoh, he also going down for a interview on packing? grr.. wanted to go down too. but i'm sick. i can't work.
haven go register poly yet, or even dental. my teeth getting worse. ):
hmm.. guess nothing much.
nobody read my blog so.... yup yup, i will not blog so so so often. (:
Friday, January 8, 2010
Ocean.
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Time check: 3.46am
Date: 07-01-2010
I'm lying on bed now. Not a sleep but soon. Went up to ship, check in room and unpack things. Went out to Chinese restaurant for supper. After that I went back room take jacket and go the lido and watch a famous magicia 11.15pm. At about 12mn back to room and rest about 1am, went to casino see people play.and I learn a new game but quite retarded. I never play, I see my ah ma, 3 aunt play. The people play like free flow of money. CHange till thousands. See already very heartache. Hmmm, now going to sleep soon. Only my cousin and me, da yi going ah ma room sleep. Goodnight. The vibration very heavy. Tsk Tsk. Sweet dream.
Love, becca :D
Time check: 1.35am
Date: 08-01-2010
Now resting, back room, wanted to go casino. But cousin not feeling well. Today wake up about 11am, wait for 12pm go eat lunch then go walk around. About 2pm went down to KL nearest mall, bukIt tinggi. Nothing much at there. so never buy anything. Eat Japanese foods. Walked already.About 7pm, back to ship. Then go eat dinner. Walk round round. Bought body mist at mall. Sign up the member free for star cruises. Bought some photos, is ugly but still want. Haha. Wait for 11pm go eat choco mania. Then walked already, go eat a bit of supper. Went back room and washed up. Pack some stuffs. Going to sleep. Must wake up early, go duty free see stuffs. Goodnight.
Love, becca :DTuesday, January 5, 2010
>:(.
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i'm really really angry. as if everything is my fucking fault.i'm fucking going to cruise tomorrow. 3days okay
i know 3days not very long. but i'm used to everyday texting you.
then? end up. nabei.
i thought you never reply or answer you are sleeping or phone silent what.
just wanted to talk to you. also wrong? my fucking fault.
scold me for nothing.
i can't take it when people scold me for nothing.
you busy, dont know how to say is it. nabei.
yaya, to you all my fault right.
i should just fucking leave you alone and get lost in your world.
i go cruise you also will not miss me. you will not even message me.
not like what its was when i go jarkata. you will give me a long message, even you don't know i will reply a not. end up i replied, and also get scolded for sending message, each messages cost me few bucks.
PMS you also don't understand. i confirm will anyhow throw temper not like you don't know.
can't you giving in when i'm having the fucking period.
nabei cb. i damn fucking sick of quarreling with you almost every month. every 4 of jan i also quarreled with you. CB CB CB CB. i'm fucking getting sick of it......................................!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Monday, January 4, 2010
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I WANT TO REWRITE 2010 RESOLUTIONS ..
ANGRY.
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sometime i wonder, what on earth he thinking?its like fucker can. -.- okay whatever.
what i feel now is........ there no space for me in heart, maybe yes, a small corner one. which only remember when need to remember.
to him, his friends are wonder. like super wonderful can. then me?
some bitch that don't understand him? he can be with his friends everyday see them everyday meet them everyday eat play shit everything everyday.
but i cannot right. damn pissed off. through its same 'area' its not like i walked 5 - 10 minutes can reach his place anytime anywhere. i need to take bus, use my legs take me 1hours +. okay my walking speed suckk. i can't walk fast.
like hell la, is like if i walk, i need to walk all the way up to like already use up about 15 - 20 minutes just to reach another main road. then dont said walked over.
so piss piss piss... angry angry angry...